**I normally don't post a lot of personal stuff on here b/c I feel like it can be a "downer," and I like to keep it upbeat. But in the spirit of keeping it real, and hoping that writing will feel cathartic, I'm going to try it this once. Feel free to skip this one and come back tomorrow =) **
RELAX. You are running around like a crazy woman trying to accomplish things, and you're stressing yourself completely unnecessarily. Everything is going to work out - God promises it will! You have a fantastic husband who would support you through anything and wants to talk to you about your struggles. Open up and LET HIM IN. He will love you no matter what and wants to help you through your struggles. Get over yourself, and talk to him, lady!
You have a fantastic job with an amazing boss and people who love and value you. You are your own worst critic, and you always have been; lay off. You can't be perfect at everything. And the more you try the more frustrated you will feel. Take some time to remember what you have and be thankful. If every student doesn't get as much time as they should with you one day, don't stress. Just try again tomorrow - it's a new day. Never be afraid to ask for help - people WANT to help you. Forget about your terrible past experiences, and forgive the people who've made you feel less than you are.
Stress is a choice, April. And sadly, it's a choice you are ADDICTED to making. When you feel that tightness in your stomach, just stop. No matter what you're doing, stop and pray. Your phone call, your meeting, your students can afford to wait 10 seconds for you to re-center, and everyone will be better for it, especially you. Once you're done, smile at someone... remember something beautiful... and then continue with what you're doing. Take a little time for you.
You are EXACTLY where God wants you to be in your life. All you can do is follow after Him and He will guide you. Enjoy this day, this moment, this second, and thank God for it. Enjoy and love every student like they were you own, knowing they are someone's precious baby. Confide in your amazing husband; he is a gift from God. And breathe. Breath in, breathe out - enjoy this life for all it offers.
You can do it; you already are