Thursday, May 5, 2011

2011 Met Gala: Alexander McQueen - Savage Beauty

I know you're all been on tenterhooks waiting for my fashion assessment of the Met Gala, celebrating Alexander McQueen... and here it is!!  It's the ticket that everyone LIVES to receive, and I think I might have preferred to attend this over the Royal Wedding.  And that's  SAYING SOMETHING coming from me.  So not wasting any time, let's start it off with the trend of the night: Nudes/skin tones...

 My wannabe BFF, Gwyneth Paltrow was rockin' this Stella McCartney number and she looked SMOKIN.  Simple lines always look hot with an up-to-there slit.  *sigh*  And can I just say: Tracy Anderson gets RESULTS - look at her post-two-kids bod!  However, she does have some amazing genes working for her.  Blythe Danner still looks gorgeous, and she's in her late 60s.  Lucky. 

Love me some curve-a-liscious Salma Hayek.  She looked stunning in this Alexander McQueen dress (fitting since the event featured his designs and significant contributions to the fashion world), that fitted her like Goldilocks: juuuuust right!

Also wearing Alexander McQueen, my gal, SJP!  Although this dress makes her look a bit short, she's skinny enough to pull it off.  I love the sparkles, too.  If you're going to sparkle, then the Met gala is a great place to do it!

Ok, So T. Swift isn't my fave.  I don't hate her, but the UBER-whiteness of her skin is a little off-putting to me.  I'm NOT advocating orangeness (see any recent photo of Valentino for an example of this.), but a little sun never hurt anyone, Taylor.  However, this dress is Drop.Dead.Gorgeous.  The curvy sculpted lines are so intriguing and, let's be honest, I'd wear it all day long.

Trend Numero 2: Black lacy detailing (<- nice specific name, right?)

Enter Tory Burch, my personal goddess.  I love almost everything she designs and wears - why hello GORGEOUS earrings, be MINE!  She specially designed Kanye's look (who I DO NOT adore), and it makes him look like $1,000,000.  But, back to the point... how much do I love this black details on this dress.  A LOT.  <3 Tory Burch <3

Christina Ricci is sporting her usual half-creepy, half-fabulous style.  She and Helena Bonham Carter are in a class all their own  (much like Bjork.  Weird.) I think she might be the only one who can rock this spider-webby Zac posen gown.

Trend Numero 3: Looking Absolutely Ridiculous.

Case in point.  C'mon, Andre Leon Talley - if all it took to get in to the event was a Snuggie, I'd have been there.  What kind of a look was he going for?  It made him look bigger than he was, and saying it was poorly fitted is the understatement of the YEAR.  Maybe he was headed to his graduation?  Ugh.

 Blog readers, meet the Odd Couple, Aimee Mullins and Oliver Theyskens.  Nothing like a gingham dress with a long train.  Don't get me wrong, I get that this is a costume ball, and that bold patterns are completely in, but this train looks lank and lifeless.  If you want to see how a train is done well (with structure and volume), see Gisele Bundchen (coming later in the post).  And Oliver, please shower next time.

Speaking of the Odd couple... Ashley looks good (not amazing, the sleeves are dramatic but unrelated to her gown), but Mary Kate...  The Met gala is NOT the appropriate forum to channel the fashion spirit of Yoko Ono.  Were is your cute figure in that sack?  Did you not have time to hit up the salon to have your roots touched up?  Have you lost all sense of what is appropriate for such an event?  So many questions, so little time.

Apparently Emily Browning only had time to hit the Dress Barn.  In 1997.  I KNOW it's a Marc Jacobs dress, but... I'm gonna go there.  I hate it.  I don't think it's flattering, and the cut is dated, and not in the good "vintagy" kind of way.  Yuck.  Mooooving on...

Holy applique overkill.  Naomi Campbell is so GORGEOUS, but this dress is too much.  Look at Gisele, girl.  THAT is what a supermodel is supposed to wear!

Stella, I LOVE YOU.  But why is this dress puckering so much??  The neckline isn't very flattering, and the sides are pulling oddly.  Also, I'm not rail thin, so I can't get behind anything that flares weirdly at the hips.  it just generally makes people look wide.  Sorry, Ms. McCartney, this look is a no-go for me.

 Ok, Twilight fans, I apologize right now, but I think Kristen Stewart is Ms. Frumpy McFrump pants.  She walks around like she's some misunderstood creature or like someone who has no confidence.  She's gorgeous and has an AMAZING body. Kristen, wake up and show off whatcha mama gave ya!  This dress looks great from the back but from the front...

Welcome to Mumu town, population Kristen Stewart and Andre Leon Talley.  Sorry, I just can't "back" this gown...  haha, get it? ;)

 Dress? Gorgeous.  Renee Zellweger's intense need to eat a cheeseburger? Hideous.  While the Carolina Herrera dress is amazing, I can't get over her super-skinny back and protruding bones.  Please eat something, Renee!

Trend Numero 4: Hottie Men  (It goes without saying that I am married to the hottest man on the planet.  But, the men below are doing well trying to approach Eric's status...)

Oh Colin Firth, you are awesome.  I just adore you.  He was such a great host for the evening (I hear - I wasn't there, obvi), and a classy guy in general.  Love.  Love, love love.  And your bow tie is adorable.  Win.

 My hometown guy!  Amar'e Stoudemire is adorable.  And gorgeous.  Love him.  But wait a darn second... HOW did he get invited???  He's an amazing athlete, but seriously, the MET GALA?!  So jealous.

My name is April, and I am an Edward Norton addict.  I admit it.  I'm secretly totally in love with him.  I LOVE all of his characters, and how he is so selective about his roles.  Not to mention he's totally gorgeous.  How much do I wish I was Madonna in this picture?  A lot.  Lot, lot, lot. *sigh*

Hamish Bowles is so chic!  In true Alexander McQueen fashion, he wore a stunning suit of tartan.  And I'm completely in love with the embroidery.  Mr. Bowles, will you design my wardrobe for me?  Kthanksbye.

Michael Kors. Love him, love his clothing, love Diana Argon as well.  How AMAZING does she look in this red dress and sleek pony?  This is how glam is done.  Take note, co-star Lea Michele!

Trend Numero 5: Feathers!

Jenna Lyons (the inspiration behind everything lovely at J.Crew) is wearing one of the less formal tops of the evening - a J.Crew sweater, but she dressed it up nicely with the feathered skirt from the bridal line for J.Crew (How many times can I plug J.Crew in one paragraph??).  But is it just me, or could she have done something with her hair??  See Diana Argon and her lovely sleek pony.  But, I am loving me some of that feathered skirt.

Mmmmmm, Margerita Missoini wearing a dress of her own creation.  I'll take this in my size please.  While it looks kind of heavy, I love the volume at the bottom, and the metallic belt adds a bit of glam to a softer look.  Win!

Liv Tyler is about the most gorgeous thing on two legs, and as always, she makes this Givenchy Couture gown look GOOD.  The soft progression from cream to yellow proves that almost any girl can wear yellow and rock it, if it's done right. 

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for... Best Dressed list of the evening...

  Carolina Herera is such a fashion ICON.  Her desses were worn by many to the event, yet she sows up in a classy and understated gingham dress.  The coverage and structure look AMAZEBALLS on her, and she is absolutely radiant.  I hope to look just like this when I'm her age. *crosses fingers!*

As easy as it might be to look HOTT in anything when you're half the bombshell that Diane Kruger is, it takes an extraordinary amount of class to carry yourself like she does.  This Jason Wu dress is classy, and the high slit gives just enough sex appeal without looking vampy.  I LOVE this dress and how gorgeous she looks in it.  Diane Kruger, you're a class act and I want to be you.  Or maybe just your BFF.  You, me and Gwynnie - lunch date.  Whaddya say?

  While I MUCH prefer the red-head Emma Stone to the new blonde version (stay with your roots, ladies!), this Lanvin gown complements her youth a beauty perfectly.  Her hair is styled so sweetly and her coy little smile just make you want to photograph her.  I might have gotten at least a little tan before hand if it were me, but she matches the white on her dress, I guess.  Love her.  Plus she's from Scottsdale, so I have to love my Phoenix (metro area) peeps!

 Evan Rachel wood looked S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G in this eggplant colored number from Gucci.  Love that deep V-neck, the sheerness, and her whole look is so elegant.  I'll take one (in about 5 sizes larger), please! 

So just beause you're a super model doesn't mean you make good fashion choices (see Naomi Campbell above).  However, Gisele is a BOMBSHELL.  Holy cannoli, even I want to be her date; she looks gorgeous!  This is how you work a red dress, take note all others!  If only her hottie boyfriend would  cut his hair - then they'd be unstoppable. 

What a lovely lady.  This dress is perfect for her - it hugs her in all the right places and makes her newly-fit bod look like a million bucks.  I'll forgive for now that it's a Vera Wang gown (I'm still upset with her for using her anorexically thin models and looking like she needs a piece of pizza herself... or maybe 50 pieces of pizza...), and just say that he looks fantastic.  Dress, hair, understated jewelry - it all works!

 Lee Lee Sobieski has sort-of  disappeared from the big screen lately, but this look puts her on the map as a stylista!  She looks perfectly made up for the evening.  The Vionnet gown accentuates her figure and height, and that belt looks amazing.  This is how to do draping without looking Grecian, people! 

Michelle Williams is about the cutest girl at the party.  I always love her hippy-chic fashion choices, and tonight was no different.  She chose a Mui Mui gown that expresses her playfulness, but at the same time accentuates her figure and complements her hair very well.  She looks young, playful and yet sophisticated.  Bravo!

Just imagine all of them filtering through the met, chatting with one another, eating gourmet food, and enjoying performance by Florence and the Machine.  *Sigh*  I want to go!

WHEW!  That was a project.  So, what do you think?  Any looks you love/hate?  I hope you enjoyed my run down... Maybe next year I'll get an invite and I can give you all the inside scoop.  A girl can dream, right?  Happy Thursday, friends!

1 comment:

  1. All I have to say is some ladies (like me) can't tan... haha, and if we try we either pink, red, or have to orange. It takes me at least a month to get a starter going, so seeing the white ladies makes me happy knowing I don't HAVE to be bronze to look beautiful =)